Originally posted on August 11, 2012
When you break up with your significant other, the realisation of what could have been really sets in. Whether it was the idea of living together, or even going so far as marriage and family, it’s a bitter pill to swallow.
I’m sure a lot of girls (and maybe even guys) can recall a time where conversation turned to scenarios like what your ideal wedding would involve, the number of kids you’d want and what their names would be. We don’t have these bundles of joy but the abundance of names to choose from somehow draws you in. Admit it, you’ve given it some thought.
This was something my ex and I spoke about. I was so sure that things would work out, that I was emotionally invested in these names which I would one day put to a face.
Of course a meticulously planned relationship never works out, and of course I was having to deal with him cheating and lying consistently. I was so enraged he would do such a thing but after a long, long fight to get us back on track, I cut my losses and simply got on with things.
Right now, I’m more than happy not being in contact with him. I eventually made peace with the fact that he moved on and got married and I’m glad that relationship is working out well for him.
What I didn’t actually make peace with was something I stumbled upon a couple of weeks ago.
A picture on his brother’s Facebook page of a baby, his nephew to be precise. And with that, his middle name that made me freeze and wonder if I needed to bring my opticians appointment forward by a few months.
Some people might argue and question why I still have my ex’s brother on Facebook, and my response to that is why the hell not? We don’t actually communicate, in fact, I hardly communicate with a large number of people on my friend’s list. I’m more than sure that’s the case with a lot of you too.
But anyway, nested in between his first and last name was one that I had voiced my adoration for because I loved the sound of it. After some convincing he was all for it, but never in my life did I think he would actually use it after us splitting up.
I guess with relationships that haven’t quite made it to the altar, everything is sort of up for grabs. I just know that I would never move into a new relationship and use a name my ex suggested.
Is that even normal? Do people actually do that? Surely that’s like a permanent cling to the past or something? But then again it could just be that the name grew on him – even after we called it quits.
At the time I was gobsmacked but now that some time has gone by I’m pretty much neutral over the whole thing. I may never comprehend how and why he opted for that name but when I look at the way things stand right now, I would never want to bring something that personal from a past relationship to the current one I have now. The way I would see it is my beau deserves so much more than that.
You’d think the ex would feel the same for his other half.