The Aashni+Co bridal exhibition took London’s Dorchester Hotel by storm over the weekend. Hundreds of soon to be brides descended on Park Lane for the annual show which featured a number of designers who flew in to the capital to help brides make that all important decision.

Zita Elze once again curated the most decadent showcase which transported you to a gorgeous woodland with dresses from various designers hidden among ceiling high trees. Among the designers I got the chance to speak to, Manish Malhotra and Masaba Gupta had to be the two I was dying to get a couple of words with. Manish Malhotra’s careers expands far beyond the cat walk; his work has graced some of the top grossing Bollywood films, while Masaba Gupta’s unconventional prints has kept me on tenterhooks.

Ahead of the show Manish expressed his love for the fashion capital saying, ‘I love London. I was here for almost two months for Karan’s film and then I was here for a little bit for the British Asian Trust, so 2015 has been a lot of London, which I think is an indication to my life that there’s going to be a lot more of London. I love the city.’

The interactive nature of this show allowed visitors to get up close with the designers – one of the unique seeking points that makes the Aashni+Co shows an undeniable success. Have a read of their thoughts on a range of questions below…

Floral showcase courtesy of Zita Elze

With Masaba Gupta

On what they were looking forward to…

Sabyasachi: ‘I’m most looking forward to meeting a lot of brides I’ve never met before. You know I do a show on TV called ‘Band Baajaa Bride’ so a lot of girls from the UK write to me saying they want to be on the show. I know a lot of people are coming from Manchester for the show today so it’ll be nice to get to know them as well. It’s nice to put a face to a voice or a name.’

Akanksha Gajria: ‘I love that I’m going to get to interact with so many people. I’ve been speaking to people on email and through Instagram but I’m going to meet them today personally and I love that. I get to learn so much from them.’

On who they would like to dress…

Akanksha Gajria: ‘I really want to dress up Blake Lively. It would be such a thrill to see her in an old white tye-dye lehenga – I mean, how cool would that be? She would carry it off with such bomb. She would look amazing in it.’

Anju Modi: ‘Oh my God, every bride. You can’t name one person. To me every bridge is a unique person and it is her special day. I cannot say Angelina Jolie or Deepika Padukone, they are there of course, but I really give importance to every girl.’

On the collection they were exhibiting…

Faraz Manan: ‘The fall/Winter 15 collection called Casablanca, it’s a Moroccan inspired collection so there’s a lot of handwoven fabrics and embellishments.’

Sonali Gupta: ‘I’ve use a lot of contemporary colours. I’ve used a lot of off whites and blues because I do think these colours are trending now and people have kind of moved away from the reds and the blacks. I mean those are still in fashion and are always going to be there because they’re classic colours. I think what has happened is new colours are taking over. I’ve also done a lot of hand embroided jackets which you can take out in the summer, you can take out in the winter and you can show it off more.’

Anamika Khanna: ‘We’re trying to present an alternative to the traditional bride. For me it’s not necessary to conform as long as we respect the tradition and the sentiments. I’m actually of the opinion that we don’t need to go ‘bride’ in the literal sense as long as we can go ‘bride’ in some way.’

Top tips and biggest challenges

Manish Malhotra: ‘What I sense is a lot of times, the work that I see in America or London and people who are buying these clothes, are not even aware that they’re buying replicas. Maybe they’re paying a high price too, I don’t know about that. But there’s a lot of replicas that I see overseas but Aashni+Co is getting the originals to everyone. So even if you don’t buy, you get an idea; okay so this is what’s happening here, these are the prices, you know? So it helps you to differentiate between the replicas and originals. I would look at it this way, I like the idea of meeting so many people. It’s not about sales and how many sales you’re going to make in one day. Fashion and luxury isn’t just about that one sale, it’s about an association,’ he told Victoria from London ki Ladki.

Anju Modi: ‘To make the bride most comfortable before I start designing for them. I have to win their confidence and they should be comfortable in whatever suggestions I’m giving and I’m open to their own ideas also. The challenge is to make them my friends.’

On how the Asian bridal scene is changing…

Anamika Khanna: ‘Brides are ready to experiment. They come to you asking what can you do and they’re not scared of taking risks. They have better bodies, they’re more confident. They’re not looking at the deep rooted, ethnicity anymore. There is a definite change.’

‘I don’t think they are. I have to say actually, these girls are very educated, they travel, and yet each one of the, especially the brides on their wedding day, the day where they have to do the other rituals, they want to be traditional. They’re not losing touch, they’re just making it more modern, which we need to do. You can’t dress how you use to dress 50 years ago, things need to move on. It’s important and that’s what’s happening but they’re not losing touch with their craft and the traditions.’

How many times have you seen adverts, articles, popular culture and social posts telling you to love yourself? There are constant reminders around us.

However when it comes to spreading that love to other women there’s a distinct lack of campaigns surrounding the idea of building each other up. This is where Lilly Singh comes in.

Also known as IISuperwomanII on YouTube, Lilly recently launched the #GirlLove campaign focusing on eradicating girl on girl hate. Whether it’s at school, online, in the home or at work, Lilly wants viewers to get rid of the notion that you need to tear someone down in order to build yourself up. Have a look at the video below:

Revenue from this video as mentioned will be donated to the Malala Fund which is a wonderful cause.

If you sit and think about it, girl on girl hate actually starts at a really young age.

At school, friendships are formed but so are cliques. The beginnings of girl on girl hate start in the smallest ways and eventually evolves as we grow up and enter adulthood. For example, instead of admiring a fellow classmate who shows academic promise, some girls choose to put them down and resort to name calling. ‘Nerds’, ‘geeks’ and ‘bods’ (remember that one?) are all terms that kids feel negatively towards when in actual fact, their intelligence is invaluable.

What’s shocking is how easy girl on girl hate manifests and transcends into different stages of our lives. At work it could develop between colleagues in competition with one another, or senior females who feel threatened by their subordinates. Online is another area where cyberbullying can get really intense and even result in suicide attempts. No area is off limits.

The #GirlLove campaign is essentially a beacon of positivity as it encourages us to compliment another female. Yes, it’s easy to feed those negative feelings and emotions, but it’s even easier to pay a sincere compliment. Don’t believe me, well read on…

After watching the video above, I was inspired to take a moment and pay my compliments to a few ladies who I think are doing pretty phenomenal things at the moment…

• Lilly Singh, for actually starting this movement. It’s so simple in its objective and gives back to education which is something I’ve become really passionate about. Though I haven’t met her, you can see she works hard. Her work ethic is ridiculously inspiring.

• The Migreat South Asian blogger network that was formed for the BBC’s 100 Women debate. The group, organised by Priya Changela, consisted of Aina Khan, Chayya Syal, Hasina Dabasia, Ruchi Hajela and Sara Khan. I couldn’t just pick one of you. Each are incredibly talented in what they do and are so down to earth. There’s no ego or superiority based on what they have achieved. Plus after one project, we’ve formed such a great bond.

• Priyanka Chopra and Deepika Padukone for very different reasons. Priyanka Chopa has become the first South Asian actress to win a People’s Choice Award which is just insanely awesome. Deepika has been brutally honest about her struggle with depression which in Asian culture is extremely taboo. It takes so much guts to not only address the fact that you are suffering in the first place, but to then go on to publicly voice it. She is now working to help others who may be suffering in silence.

Which female do you admire and why? Share your dose of #GirlLove! 

The EY Sikh Network organised a phenomenal evening with Amandeep Singh aka Inkquisitive last week where a small audience got the opportunity to get to know the man behind the art.

Inkquisitive’s creations are some of the best this generation has probably seen. His work is something we can identify with and being able to find out more about his beginning, his struggles and his own insecurities not only humanises him, but allows both creatives and fans to relate and gain perspective over different facets of their own life.

In conversation with Inkquisitive

Treated to an evening of canapés, conversation and the screening of his documentary, with special thanks to Nihal from the BBC Asian Network, we really got a sense of who Amandeep Singh was. What struck me was how determined he was to let the world into his thoughts even if it did scare him at times.

He spoke about some of these thoughts and ideas. One that stood out the most to me was the notion that we spend so much time pointing out differences between us that we don’t take the time to celebrate the similarities we share with one another. This resonated with me so much as it’s a sentiment my own Mum shares.

I have heard her say numerous times, whether it’s during a pep talk to me or in general about the state of the world that despite anything, ‘if you cut us, we all bleed.’ People and society ascertain divisions between us – whether that’s ethnicity, religion, or class. Ultimately that’s been our downfall as a collective race. It’s never been more relevant to adjust our mindset and realise this, given all the hostility groups of people are currently facing.

If society won’t force us to think about the state of the world and be supportive in our capabilities and individual expression, then it’s down to creatives like Aman who work not only to satisfy his own urges for expression, but to allow us to take a moment to really dwell on things that are much bigger than us.
Not missing the opportunity to ask the man himself a question, my hand shot up the moment the floor was opened.

‘In your documentary you say ‘creatives don’t kill themselves, society does.’ Why do you think society is so afraid of creative expression?’ I asked.

Aman replied: ‘Society in general fears anything different. Society is scared to take risks and growing up doing the art pieces I’m doing, they’re not quite, normal – it shouldn’t be for any artist to be honest. If you’re going to put anything out there then it should be something surreal and should be different. I feel that art in some ways and specifically in terms of society from what I’ve experienced has been based on people being too scared to understand what I do and I feel like that’s where society kills creatives. It’s not creative people. I can have a conversation with Nihal or you could even be an artist and we can understand each other to an extent, but sometimes for those who see it as just eye candy, they won’t understand it because they’re afraid to delve deeper and I feel that when you take that seatbelt off and enjoy and embrace each other’s talents.’

‘What advice would you give to creatives who feel misunderstood and have their own message to convey?’

‘I still feel at this stage that I’m misunderstood all the time. I don’t feel at any stage that I’ve made it. I feel that the only thing that’s working for me is consistency. It’s always based on that consistent journey. I do so many pieces all the time and I’m always wondering why isn’t it appreciated as much as anything else. At the same time, I think to myself, it’s okay, you’re not doing it for people, you’re doing it for yourself. So the more consistent you are with your journey, the more value there is for yourself.’

You can’t help but be protective over other creatives and seeing how honest Aman was during his interview and the Q&As gave me perspective on my creative strength and how precious and powerful that can be. He struck a chord with me and soon after I realised I had clearly been underestimating my own abilities.

The Exhibition

Pictures of Aman’s artwork truly doesn’t do them justice. I have seen a number of his art through Instagram and Twitter but I found myself noticing new details in the very same canvases at the exhibition. Even more poignant were the words of wisdom that accompanied his artwork, each with a message of encouragement, motivation and honesty that I’m sure we can all resonate with. I found myself reading some of these over and over again. It was as though Aman could intercept my thoughts and offer the perfect advice, pep talk and insight.

Aman has a strong following on social media and no doubt so many people wanted to meet him. I don’t blame them. However I wanted to treat this exhibition as more than a meet and greet opportunity. This exhibition wasn’t just about checking in on social media and posting what the world would perceive as ‘eye candy.’ This was a chance to break away from reality for an hour or so, cast my eyes over fresh, inspiring art and allow myself to immerse myself and try and get to know Aman better through his work and at the same time, get to know myself a little better too.

I probably wouldn’t have done this if it hadn’t been for Aman’s exhibition. I found it warming how art transcended religions and ethnic backgrounds and had brought so many people from different walks of life together. I loved that there was beauty in every, single piece of art on display. I loved that despite Aman and I being very different, I realised there were similarities in the way we think about certain things too, which goes back to that mindset of celebrating our similarities rather than focusing on our differences.

Performances by Sonna Rele and Humble the Poet rounded off an already perfect Friday evening and was a fitting way to celebrate five years of Inkquisitive.

I can’t wait to see what the next five years holds!

I have to thank Indy from the EY Sikh Network for allowing me to tick two items off my bucketlist. Being able to meet and speak to Aman and see Humble the Poet perform has made this the best end to 2015. Thank you so much! 

Last Tuesday the BBC ran live debates all day in a bid to get people talking about serious issues that are hindering and affecting women from all walks of life.
An ambitious feat, the BBC managed to engage communities of women from around the world and have them discuss issues surrounding various topics.

The evening at the Southbank Centre was one full of shared ideas, thoughts and passionate opinions that not only set our social media timelines on fire, but ignited something within us too.

Our group, the Migreat South Asian Blogger’s Network consisted of Sara Khan, Chayya Syal, Hasina Dabasia, Ruchi Hajela, Aina Khan, Priya Changela and yours truly. Together, we tackled three pretty wide topics; leadership, image and relationships.

A lot was discussed and I particularly liked the way the BBC organised these debates which were inclusive of women from around the world. Each segment began with the group watching a video supplied by the BBC and consisted of specific questions for us to discuss. As you can imagine, there were a lot of opinions the group were keen to share.

Leadership

It is preposterous that there has never been a female General Secretary. The girls and I let out a collective gasp at that this little fact.

Though the World Health Organisation is headed up by a female, there are many roles like this one that are still dominated by men. The first question, are women who act like men more likely to become leaders, drew a number of nods but there were drawbacks to acting in this manner such as being labelled as bossy and even sexualised within the workplace.

How inappropriate would it be if women objectified men when they exhibited authority and assertiveness? Chances are it would be frowned upon and deemed highly unprofessional – so what makes it okay for some men to do this – even if it is in jest? Women should not have to act like their male counterparts in order to gain the respect of their peers and leadership roles should welcome women as they are. There are so many authoritative roles that women could assume and yet, there doesn’t seem to be many prominent females that stand out. Sure, America celebrates their First Lady, but she isn’t the President. She assumes a secondary and supportive role to her husband.

Discussions around leadership also reminded me of an article I read a while ago about the way men and women approach a job specification. Whilst men will have a look and mentally check off the responsibilities they can do, women sifted through and identified tasks they didn’t feel competent enough doing. This in itself is very revealing. On the one hand it shows that men will take a chance if they meet the smallest percentage of a job spec, but it also suggests a lack of confidence women have within themselves.

Even in our day to day life, how often do you apologise for the smallest things? When I stopped to think about this point Chayya raised, I realised I do this way too much. Why should I apologise if I have a question? Why do I try and belittle an opinion I have, before I’ve even voiced it? These little faults soon become habit and although we can cover up and say it’s merely us being polite, to a degree there’s a level of insecurity within our own abilities. Once we start questioning what we’re capable of, that opens the floodgates for other people to do the same.

Image

Questions surrounding a woman’s image tied in very nicely with our leadership discussion. The issue of whether better looking women were likely to succeed got a resounding yes. It sounds so insane, but there have been studies that reveal that attractive individuals are seen as valuable members of a company as they bring in more money and find that people want to engage and interact with them. Attractive people also have desirable personality traits – like higher self confidence – which are incredibly appealing to employers.

Aina’s tweet above is an excellent example of how much emphasis is placed on image. Hillary Clinton has transformed the way she looks since announcing her bid to run for presidency. While it is important to look presentable, we shouldn’t forget that intelligence and aptitude are equally if not more important traits to consider, especially when it comes to being a President!

What I love about Hillary in particular is even though she has raised the stakes in her image, she isn’t solely relying on this to win. Dressing presentably and equipped with her knowledge on pressing issues affecting Americans and how she plans to navigate her way through them is a powerful combination. In this instance, there is absolutely nothing wrong in being stylish and smart. The issue of image takes a negative turn when we start crossing that line from presentable to desirable and believing this is what we need to do in order to succeed. In a way, we can’t be angry at men if all some women are going to present is a pretty face and long legs.

That doesn’t mean we should abandon our basic sense of style. Rather, we should keep this in mind…

Hoping that a pretty face will get you to the top is not only wishful thinking, but doing yourself a disservice. In a day and age where there are ridiculous beauty standards, I’m not surprised women feel somewhat pressured to stand out from the crowd or in some cases, conform.

Pop culture and now social networks like Instagram and YouTube perpetuates these standards at an alarming rate. The number of beauty vloggers on YouTube for example may have a love for make up, but are indirectly awakening a very superficial side to young girls.

The only thing that should be ‘on fleek’ is your intellect. Fact.

Relationships

The idea of being subservient is something that has always perplexed me. In some cultures to this day, women are expected to take a back seat and almost obey their husbands and the men within their family. To be perfectly honest, there shouldn’t be an expectation for girls to act this way. I’m all for being respectful, but if someone’s opinion of me is determined by how dutiful and submissive I am then I’d rather they keep me at an arms length.

This idea of being subservient, especially in a relationship, feeds egos that would otherwise be damaged by a strong, opinionated female. It’s great that some men admire these qualities but others who claim that they want a strong woman by their side find that they don’t know how to handle a partner who is just as opinionated.

As a group we ascertained this could be the result of some men not having prominent and strong female figures in their life. As they’ve grown up within a community where all women conform to this behaviour, it’s almost a shock to the system when they venture out into the world and find that there are women who say what they think and have a militant work-ethic.

As we were discussing this, I came to realise that I couldn’t relate to being subservient at all. In comparison to those men who have never been exposed to strong female figures growing up, I have found that my Indo-Caribbean background was paved with fiery women. My grandmother, my mother, my sister… they’re all pretty outspoken women. When you compare the two contrasts, I personally much prefer having that exposure and influence, which has naturally rubbed off on me.

There is so much to be said about this subject but overall I’ve found that in order to change attitudes towards women, women themselves must start that change. We’ve identified what needs to be done and though our group is small, it’s definitely a step in the right direction to get people thinking, talking and taking action.

Running a blog is phenomenal. For some creatives, writing is the way we pour our feelings out, get our opinions heard and contribute to wider discussions about what is happening within our society.

I love the power and the excitement that comes with putting together a new post. Since achieving my Journalism degree and starting this blog I have learned a lot along the way – both good and bad lessons that have helped me grow as a writer and as a direct result, helped the blog thrive.

So whether you’re an established blogger that’s curious about how the journey has been for others so far, or if you’re just starting out within the blogosphere, here are five nuggets of wisdom to keep in mind.

1. You will have battles with PRs

For the most part, I have had the most phenomenal experience working with PRs. They have been such a tremendous help especially when it comes to informing me of upcoming events and organising interviews with people I have dreamed of meeting. There are instances however where there can be a clash between bloggers and PRs. In my experience I have found that PRs want bloggers with a huge following to plug their clients, which I find to be quite insulting. It doesn’t matter if you have 1,000,000 followers or 1,000, the point is there are people that are engaged with your blog and your content. Don’t be put down by PRs who fail to recognise this. There are plenty others who will happily look past numbers and recognise quality.

2. Stay true to yourself

Once exposed, you’ll come to find that the blogging community is pretty friendly, welcoming and supportive. There are so many people who want to be heard above the crowds and building collaborative and personal relationships with other bloggers will help you achieve this.

There are individuals however, who venture into this sphere for all the wrong reasons. Internet fame is one of this generation’s biggest issues and it’s sad that people feel that starting a blog will give them this kind of status. Don’t let a shallow popularity contest compromise your blog’s purpose.

3. Don’t let accolades dishearten you

A friend of mine – who I met through our mutual love for blogging – told me that awards and accolades are not everything. They do not determine how good of a writer you are and how good your blog is. She is completely right. Sure, it’s great being awarded for your effort, creativity and work you put into your blog but when you think about it, so many people around the world aren’t recognised for the work they do. That doesn’t mean they aren’t good. But they persevere because they’re passionate and making some sort of a difference is more important than awards lining their mantelpiece. It’s a very humbling thought and one that reminds me why I started this blog in the first place. Don’t be swayed by all the glitz and glamour.

4. You get out what you put in

There have been times where I’ve been quite slow in posting articles and other times where I have been on the ball, scheduling blogs for up to three times a week. The saying ‘you get out what you put in’ is especially true when it comes to blogging. Publishing consistently will keep people engaged and hungry for more, especially if you have compelling content. If you find yourself experiencing a lull moment, then why not redirect your following to older posts that have fared well in the past? Use platforms like Hootsuite or Tweetdeck to schedule social media posts throughout peak times while you take a moment to rejuvenate and think up fresh ideas your readers will love.

5. There is space for everyone

It may seem like everyone is a blogger nowadays with thousands of fashion and beauty blogs circulating your twitter feed. The good thing about the internet is everyone can have a slice of it. As long as you have something to say, the World Wide Web is your playground to get it out there. Remember it’s not only about fashion and beauty too. Writing about current affairs, social issues or even getting your feelings out can be incredibly refreshing for people looking for something other than a review on the latest make up palette. Don’t believe me? I just had a read about a girl’s experience having a smear test. Yep. I know – odd reading material for a Sunday afternoon.

The British Asian community descended on Manchester last Thursday, as the third annual Asian Media Awards rolled out their blue carpet to celebrate achievements over the last year.

Gutted that I couldn’t revel in the gorgeous Hilton Deansgate and catch up with familiar faces and recently formed acquaintances, I was still proud of the overall contribution nominees have made to the world of journalism, PR, radio and television.

Keeping a vigilant eye on Twitter, the winners rolled in. Regardless of who took home awards, I think a massive well done has to go to all nominees and of course the host for the night, Jannat Jalil from Sky News.

A special congratulations goes out to Rakhee Thakrar and Ranvir Singh who were winners on the night. Rakhee has transformed the character of Shabnam Masood in EastEnders, while Ranvir Singh has worked her way up to becoming a familiar name within journalism.

While winners will still be on a high from last week’s festivities, it is worth remembering that these ceremonies are much more than the glitz and glamour we see online. It’s a testament to the changes within this particular industry and serves as motivation for those looking to make a difference and an impression through the various avenues the media sector offers.

Diversity has always been an issue within this industry, but with award shows that encompass core aspects of this sector, it is clear to see that barriers are being broken in every direction.

Here’s a full list of the winners from the night.

Publication of the Year: Asian Express
Best Blog: Amena Beauty
Best Website: DesiBlitz.com
Best Video Channel: Planet Parle

Best Live Event: Diwali Lights-on Leicester
Best Stage Production: Bend It Like Beckham: The Musical

Media Professional of the Year: Natasha Mudhar
Media Agency of the Year: Media Moguls
TV Report of the Year: Slave Wives (BBC Newsnight)
Best TV Show: Desi Rascals
Best TV Character Rakhee Thakrar (Shabnam Masood)
TV Channel of the Year Star Plus
TV Presenter of the Year: Asad Shan

Regional Radio Station of the Year: Sabras Radio
Best Radio Show: Noreen Khan
Radio Station of the Year: BBC Asian Network
Radio Presenter of the Year: Anita Anand

Outstanding Young Journalist: Siraj Datoo, Buzzfeed
Regional Journalist of the Year: Sangeeta Bhabra
Best Investigation: India’s Daughter
Journalist of the Year: Kavita Puri

Sophiya Haque Services to British Television & Film: Roshan Seth
Media Personality of the Year 2015: Ranvir Singh
Outstanding Contribution to Media: Tara Prem

Congratulations again to all the winners!

There is never a dull moment when my dear Edita from Pret a Reporter and I get together.

A day out at an Asian wedding show was the best way to catch up while oohing and aahing at what this year’s exhibitors had on offer.

The problem with wedding shows like this is ensuring a balance that satisfies both the mainstream market and the couturiers within us. If you haven’t checked out Edita’s blog then I suggest you do. She’s forever mixing and matching, creating the most obscenely beautiful outfits.

So back to the show, I was gutted that the lighting played havoc with my camera, resulting in not so great pictures which I will reluctantly share. I think the general consensus for next year is, go equipped with a DSLR of some sort.

Exhibiting on the catwalk were Este Couture, Heritage Jewels, Bibi London, Zarkan of London, Seema Silk Sarees, Pink Paisley London, Kalki and Colour Sarees. Maybe it’s the Asian within me, but I have such a weakness for detailed embroidery, exaggerated designs and bold colours. However, I do feel there are brides who like to be different, who appreciate tradition but would love to incorporate a certain individuality. This is very relevant where dresses and gowns are concerned. If there is to be a sense of innovation and forward thinking within the Asian bridal scene, it starts within the fashion this industry is producing.

It can be somewhat overwhelming for brides to be when tasked with checking off all aspects of their wedding, but having so many vendors within the wedding industry under one roof takes a huge weight off their shoulders. These shows aren’t just great for discovering new and creative ideas, they’re ideal for networking and solidifying final touches to your special day.

Or in our case, the perfect day out.

(Personal shout out to Prime Burgers who served up an AMAZING burger. Sadly I was famished and didn’t get to snap a picture of their amazingness. I suppose that’s a testament to how good their burgers are… right?)

So I’ve finally made peace with turning 27. It’s taken a while but I’ve finally, albeit reluctantly, embraced this peculiar year which edges me closer to my late twenties. Rather than talk about all that I have learned over the last year, a family friend gave me the idea to look at 27 with a different perspective.

‘Why not mention everything you’re looking forward to this year,’ he said. So that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

Read on and enjoy.

• Exploring the open road – even though I often shout at my sat-nav for taking me through unfamiliar routes.
  
• The weddings. Slowly but surely, childhood friends are starting to settle down and even though this prompts a billion questions about when I’M getting married, that doesn’t stop me enjoying the moment and seeing them step into this new chapter in their lives

• I know a lot of people say this, but I really love travelling. Over the last year I’ve really appreciated the relaxation, clarity and life-affirming experiences I’ve been blessed with on my travels and cannot wait to explore more of this wonderful world with people I adore.

• Not everyone can say they love their work, but I definitely can. It makes those 6am alarms totally worth it.

• I’m going to do more of what I love and one of those things is brunching. Yes, it’s very SATC and I’m well aware I am far from Sarah Jessica Parker, but who doesn’t like breakfast at 11am in a swanky setting?!

• Nurturing my blog – In recent months I’ve deviated away from consistently writing because of other commitments getting in the way. I’m hoping to change that and give people who have taken the time to subscribe content to read, revel in and reflect on.
  
• Finding out more about us – My grandma is the only surviving grandparent I have and as you get older I think you come to realise just how precious they are. Not just because they get cuter as they age, but also because they’re bursting with information about family history and life in their younger days. This kind of insight is something you simply won’t get anywhere else.

• My Mum is the ultimate chef. Everything she cooks tastes delicious. I don’t know what her secret is, but I’m sure I’ll find out while broadening my culinary skills.

• Reconnecting with family. I hate letting loads of time fly by without spending some time with the familia. It’s even harder when you’re separated by oceans.

• Networking – I was massively nervous when it came to networking. Thoughts that would go through my head included ‘How do I start a conversation’ and ‘Will people think I’m lame for just approaching them?’ I remember having these thoughts when I was first exposed to networking events. I’ve come to learn that you just need to put your fears aside and throw yourself into it. You’ll never reap the benefits if you don’t.

• More me time – some may say it’s selfish, some may completely understand. Either way it’s good for the soul and gives you perspective when you need it most.

• Exploring more of London – I’ve lived here my whole life but I’m sure I haven’t experienced the best of London yet. It’s typical that we don’t make the most of where we live and I’m sure I’ll be even more in love with my home by the end of it all.

• Between all the coffee dates, shisha nights and impromptu dinners, I’ve shared countless laughs with my group of friends and even difficult moments that have brought us closer together. There’s nothing quite it.

• The next Grand Prix season – duh!

• I can’t wait to continue collaborating with bloggers I know or follow and with brands who I absolutely love. I adore sharing my creativity with people who have the same enthusiasm and can’t wait to see what flourishes from that.
  
• New challenges. Every year brings with it testing moments, situations that can make or break you and obstacles that take you by surprise. I live by the mantra that you’re never given anything that you cannot handle. Each challenge brings with it lessons about yourself and the environment around you. Embrace it.

• Trying something new – It could be something huge or something very small, but this year I’m all about throwing caution to the wind (within reason) and trying new things.

• More ‘Hip Hop and Bowl’ nights. If you know, you know.

• Adding and completing more items on my bucket list – I only started my bucket list a couple of years ago but I’ve been amazed at how phenomenal I’ve felt when it comes to the end of the year and you realise just how much you have achieved.

• Along with getting married, some friends are now having babies and I have to admit, although it takes me a little while to warm up to kids, I do love taking bottle-feeding responsibility. Such bliss!

• I’ve definitely been closed off to love in the last few years but I’m slowly coming round to the idea of it again. Baby-steps.

• Last year I attended my first protest march for the people of Palestine. It was such an overwhelming day seeing how many people were brought together by a common cause. I loved the peaceful but firm nature of this march and felt like I played a part in standing up for something that was important to me. Never shy away from this.

• Every passing year in my twenties has taught me something new about myself. Though this isn’t a post about what I have learned, I am looking forward to what else I uncover about myself that will mould me for the foreseeable future.

• Financial responsibility – I know. Why would someone look forward to this? It’s all part of being an adult I suppose. My single biggest purchase to date has to be my car. I’ve been managing the financial responsibility ever since. As you get older you come to learn that you can’t shy away from putting your money towards what your heart wants.

• Be spontaneous. I’m very much the type of girl that likes to plan things to a tee. However, there have been instances where I have yelled ‘YOLO’ and gone with the flow and have actually enjoyed every, single minute of it.

• I’m always amazed at the people I connect with simply from writing a blog post – it’s been one of my highlights since creating Habibi Lifestyle. So naturally I can’t wait to reach out to many more new readers.
  
• Making more memories. Whether it’s with family, friends or new faces, the best part about reflecting over an entire year is not only how far you’ve come but reminiscing with those that made it through with you.

So you’ve completed an impressive degree, got work experience that makes your graduate CV glow and have landed a great starter job that has the most incredible prospects. When it comes to life, you’re totally winning. At least that’s what you think.

The pressure that is placed on Asians to find a suitable husband/wife from an early age is ridiculous. It’s also quite conflicting. In Asian culture having a boyfriend or girlfriend can result in so much hassle with family and people in the wider community deeming it unacceptable. Yet there’s an urgency to get married relatively young as well. It’s such a fine balance and the reality is it takes time to establish a meaningful relationship with someone. However even this has an age limit and if you find yourself over that threshold and single, then you could be in for some harsh judgement.

To me, I think this is outdated and has no logic, but to the older generation it’s a matter of being able to hold their head up in public or being badgered with questions that can be embarrassing. It’s such an archaic idea and yet it is still allowed to foster and thrive in some families within this day and age.

I remember my extended family saying that as soon as I graduate, I need to think about finding a husband and settling down. What about establishing a career, enjoying work and being able to do all the things I’ve ever wanted to do?

courtesy of www.heartofavagabond.com

Women have long advocated for the right to work and break away from the role of a housewife – so why on earth would you want to take ten steps back?

Despite having the freedom to do as we please, the Asian mentality hasn’t caught up with time. The idea of family is still at the heart of many East and West Asian cultures, and that is absolutely fine – it’s just not the be all and end all of what it means to be a woman.

I’ve had people use religion as a way to try and dupe me into thinking of finding a husband, which is quite sad. I see so many girls in their early twenties getting married without having really tasted life and if this is what they want then that’s absolutely fine, but what’s not okay is the judgement girls who have other priorities get for not conforming to this cultural rule.

To an extent I can understand why my parents want me to get married. They’re concerned about me going through life alone and want to ensure that I have someone by my side.

I can appreciate this sentiment and completely understand. However in some Asian families the pressure to get married and have children isn’t for stability in later life, it’s to appease expectations from the wider community. It’s to conform to what a particular religious verse says. It’s for everyone else except themselves and that’s not okay.

Parents need to realise they are raising a completely different generation – particularly where girls are concerned. They’re not growing up in a world where they are expected to learn how to cook and clean by the time they’re 10. They are encouraged to get an education and go out into the big wide world and work. This is how it should be.

I’m lucky that my parents understand that I’m a different breed from girls that grew up in their generation. I still have my core values at heart but I also have other dreams and desires that I want to work towards.

There is no doubt this is the reality for a number of Asian girls worldwide and attitudes have to change. We’ve come leaps and bounds away from the rigidity of the past and it’s time we realise that the home isn’t and shouldn’t be the only place women can make their mark.